I need advice.Friendly woman keeps touching me.

[Marla1976]

I need advice. Sorry for the long post, I would really appreciate it if you read it.I have a very strange situation to handle. I have been going to creative writing course classes straight from work 2 times a week over the past month. I enjoy the classes and I feel like I do get something out of them. It is all female group.I just go there straight from work 2 times a week.It is on my route from work to home. I am considered by most of these women writing course attendees to be very serious, arrogant, and stuck up.One woman attendee has described me as a ‘snob’ on about half a dozen occasions for the past month. I still don’t really know why. I know on one of those occasions it was because I turned down the offer to go to on a drink with her after the class… How not wanting to go somewhere makes me a ‘snob’, I don’t know…Also this woman group member is always commenting on my clothing saying that i am always overdressed in satin and silk. Alot of people ( females in general) pre-dislike me, unto they get to know me and find out that I'm a not stuck on myself at all.I'm the kind of person that only speaks if I have something to say and I keep my business to myself. Also most of other women group members think that i am stuck up and arrogant upper middle class snob.I feel like these women don't really like me. they are all in their 40s and 50s.I don't want to be rejected by the group. I am a 42year old 5ft10 tall heterosexual curvy hourgllass shaped attractive brunette.I I like dressing well, and looking presentable. I don't dress slutty at all.

My breasts are 32 f bra size though and I do have a big butt. My hourglass shape is unique and i am tall, and I appreciate that.If you are curvy, tall and busty, many clothes tend to look sexier on you than on a thin person. So things that fit properly that are relatively conservative can be suddenly too revealing and sexy when you put it on. This happens to me a lot.I wear almost always my satin and silk blouses fully buttoned to the top combined with a satin skirt or satin pants. I prefer wearing satin pants and a little shorter satin skirts, always above knees, sometimes even quite much, but not any miniskirts anyway.

I am always on high heels and full make up on.I am always in tight form fitting satin and silk clothes. I am a stylish person.I usually stay away from anything too revealing.I am describing myself because i want you to know the complexity of the situation. I am dressing like this since i graduated college and got my first office job.It is my whole wardrobe.Its how i like to dress myself and that is my style. I tower over other women writing course attendees. Only one woman group member is nice and friendly with me. But she is extremely touchy feely.She is a 53year old skinny really short like 5ft3 wrinkled face thin lips green eyes grayhaired masculine woman. She started touching me on my first day there.

She said that she likes to caress satin fabric and that silk and satin is so smooth to the touch when rubbing.She said that she just can’t resist touching and stroking satin fabric. On my first day she came up behind me while I was sitting and started rubbing my shoulders. She started patting and rubbing my back,wrap her hands around my waist, tight from behind and hugging me (for no reason). She is always constantly patting my lower back and touching my hair.She is always hugging me around my waist.Sometimes several hugs in a row.She also always place her hand on my ass when i stand beside her.

Also because she is really short and i am tall always when she is hugging me she is pressing her face on my breasts and she is "accidentally"coping a feel of my butt. She is always placing her hands on my breasts while facing me talking about the course .Any time I'm even within arm's reach of her, I feel her caressing me. She always sits behind me and rubs my shoulders and back during the class. One time I started to rise from the chair while she was still sitting, and she then reached over and squeezed my butt about four or five times quickly.

I pulled away, but it took me by such surprise I didn't know what to do, and I actually laughed, even though that was the last thing I felt like doing. The other day she hugged me from behind when I was sitting down and stroked my breasts before moving to my shoulders. Is this woman sexually abusing me? She seems harmless to me because I am physically stronger than her i am 5ft10 tall well built well endowed and curvy.She is like 5ft3 tall skinny.I am always on high heels she is always in flat shoes.Standing next to me she looks like a midget.She always links arms with me and walks leaning into me.

But all the touching has been getting creepy.She isn't a horrible woman she is really very pleasant but something about her and her need to hug or touch me makes me very uncomfortable.Now I don't want her to feel badly - but I want this touching,rubbing and hugging behaviour to stop.What can I say to her, or what can I do so this'll stop?How do I tell her off without causing tension. How can I discourage this woman from touching me/hugging me/getting in my personal space in a way that makes me uncomfortable without offending her? My question is how is the best way I can let this woman know this, that its nothing personal, but I would prefer not to be hugged. I have been trying this by extending my hand to do a handshake, but she do not get the hint and will hug me anyways.This woman is a squeeze hugger that lasts too long in a vice grip.I tell myself that "next time" I will say NO to her. Always "next time" but next time never comes. Usually when this short skinny woman who shouldn't be touching me try to...I just kinda... let her do the touching,rubbing and hugging , but I basically just sit/stand pretty stiffly. I know she means well but I'm honestly the kind of person who jumps if you accidentally brush knees with me, so it's all a little weird for me.
The biggest thing that is holding me back are worries of offending this woman or getting rejected by the group or being looked at as a stuck up snob. "I mean its just a hug right, whats the harm in that", etc.I would hate for this to be the reason I stop going to these creative writing group course classes. I am 100% straight.I've never had any desire to do anything sexual with a female. In all honest just thinking about possibly kissing a female makes me cringe. My husband and I have been married for 16 years and have a 14year old daughter! It is on my work to home route.I am just stopping there on my way home from work. Now within my region this is the only creative writing course group. I am not going to change my dressing style. This woman is not touchy feely with other women attendees.I wouldn't be as grossed out if she did it to everybody else but she's always doing it to me! Yes, she is violating my personal space, and I have no idea why she started doing this.
The way I deal with it is just to give in and allow myself to be hugged and touched by this woman. There is no good way to decline a hug, especially when the hugger is totally bent on hugging the huggee. The risk is that i may end up being viewed as a "cold fish". Should I say something to her? I don't want to offend her. Maybe I should just continue to ignore it. How can I gracefully tell her to stop touching me? I could maybe add a little joke like "just looking, no touching!" Maybe I am overreacting? She probably will try and make me feel bad / shame me for not being happy to see her.She might be more inclined to get very upset / turn it into a drama if she feels that i have publicly rejected her / shamed her. It is the way of the world, I'm afraid... The introverted people have to skulk around corridors and hide from the grown up 'bullies' much of the time... trying to think of ways to redirect her, with some clear cues/words to stop that behavior. I'm often thought of as stuck up because I don't usually talk unless I have to. I get nervous just walking into a room and saying hello to everyone. I think that maybe I have a certain look on my face when people see me; I mean, to me it's my "I'm seriously nervous and uncomfortable" face, but to others I think it makes them feel like I think that I'm better than everyone. So everyone just thinks I'm stand-offish and an overall rude person who thinks way too highly of themselves.

I hate that I come off like that. When I do speak with people, I tend to be overly nice to compensate and I guess that comes off as fake which definitely doesn't help the situation.

[Marla1976]

I am not going to change my dressing style.That is part of who i am.It is my whole wardrobe.I dress like this since i graduated college and got my first office job.I feel much better when I dress up and present myself as the best I can be.Dressing up makes me feel good because it makes me feel like i can do anything.I love my height and my curvy stature. I love satin and silk clothes and dressing up too. I am always in high heels with hair and makeup done. That's just who I am.I love dressing up, I've tried dressing down, but I always end up changing.
my clothes are there to be worn! I'm confident that I look good in my clothes my style is "sexy but classy" I don't believe I have ever offended or embarrased myself or anyone with my wardrobe.I am a very classy woman and i would never dress in a cheap trashy way. I don't wear anything vulgar but because of my body type everything i wear looks tight on me.I am 5ft10 foot tall and being well endowed well built and curvy always on high heels makes me HUGE!
The other day I was in a mall with my daughter and this little boy pointed at me and said something like: "Gush mom, look at her, she is giant!!!"
If I am in a crowded room, I am a head above 95% of the people. I have been told that i look stuck up and arrogant.I have had the experience of women being jealous of me.I like satin and silk clothes and I wear them well.I should not have to suffer for what I like because other women have low self esteem and don’t see the gifts they have within themselves.I have a more stylish sense of fashion. I never wear anything trashy, I keep myself well covered and strive for professionalism and class. I always like to dress on my best, because I also feel great when I’m dressed pretty. Once, i’d been to the hairdressers and was off to do a little shopping afterwards and the girl at the salon asked where i was going looking so glamorous – i said i was going shopping and she was like “really? You look so glammed up to be going shopping!” I don’t mind though, i’d rather be wearing something i feel good in than look like i just rolled out of bed.I wear high heels every day too.All the time. I like dressing well, and looking presentable.
Most of my outfit are satin pant and skirt suits satin coats and satin and silk blouses.I am always on high heels and full make up on.Being tall and curvy draws attention on its own. This can be both positive and negative. I tower over plenty of men and women. People around me (except for the ones who truly know me) have always said that I come across as snobby, stuck on myself, and unfriendly. The truth is, I'm just really shy and insecure when it comes to socializing with people. I do have several close friends, but it bugs me that A LOT of people think I'm a snob when that couldn't be further from the truth. I have been told that I seem snobby and it is because I don't speak up in groups where I am not comfortable. I have had people ask me if I thought I was better than others. This explains why I am having such a difficult time with this situation with this touchy feely "friendly" woman. I thought I was doing a good job at appearing pleasant and likable. Even when I talk to other women group members from the class I try to watch my tone of voice and sound cheerful. I am known as the biggest snob at work. Everyone always gets that first impression of me, and many keep that impression. The vast majority of people think I'm a "snob" or a upper middle class overdressed arrogant bitch I know since the friends I've had over the years told me that after some time. People simply assume I must be a snob because I'm quiet. That doesn't even seem logical to me, but when being quiet is something that simply wouldn't occur to most people perhaps that's the next most logical conclusion. I let it go too far. As i said i am trying to think of ways to redirect this touchy feely woman, with some clear cues/words to stop that behavior. I know that many women have to deal with worse, and I should just “man up”, but I am an extremely non-confrontational person, and I usually prefer to endure something uncomfortable than draw attention or displease the other person. I am now not sure what to do at this particular point. I am not sure what I should do. Why would I scream my head off if a man did it but I can’t verbalize a succinct “NO” to this short, skinny, old woman. The other nine women in my group already think that I am ok with it. This woman, always has her hands on me during the classes. Yes these women my classmates think I am arrogant or a snob but I do not have good people skills .Although I'd prefer that they think I'm arrogant to thinking that I'm afraid. I am uncomfortable in social settings and it takes me a while to feel comfortable around other people. I've been asked soooo many times 'why are you so serious' when I'm not feeling serious at that moment. I unintentionally tend to give off an unfriendly aura which has led people to ask if I dislike them. When I feel nervous I try to compensate by being really confident. I guess other people take that as me being arrogant. I've been told I come across as stuck up/snobby full of myself, narcissistic, stuck up etc., and also very unwelcoming to new people. Technically the second part is true as new people terrify me, but the first bit is very untrue.And the truth is, i just can't talk to everyone... not that i don't want to. I just need time to open myself to people. To relax and open up. This touchy feely "friendly" woman greeted me on my first class.She suggested
I volunteer to make coffee. It was a great idea because women would approach me
to thank me for my service. I didn't speak for my first 3 classes and had trouble speaking for a bit after that. When I finally started talking, I had the feeling that everything coming out of my mouth was stupid. I was reassured time and again by this touchy feely huggy woman that this was not the case. This touchy feely woman was the first to say Hi. I'm a very private person (can ya believe it? *LOL*) and had a hard time fitting in with the women in my group. This"friendly" short skinny woman has to have her hands on me. It's just the obsessive touching me. Like she can't keep away from me. And I find it weird she behaves so touchy.She is taking advantage of me, and i am afraid that she will just go even further. I need to find a way to make her truly understand that this needs to stop. It seems as though she targeted me from the very beginning.Is it even abuse? I am just so confused. I feel confused by all of this and I'm not sure what to do.She is short skinny tiny 53year old woman.I am tall curvy well built and well endowed always on high heels she is always in flat shoes.Standing next to me she looks like a midget but she is not intimidated by me.Why? She doesn't look threatening. She is masculine, creepy and ugly but she is tiny, short and skinny mature woman.I can't even say no or push her away.I know it's really weird and probably sounds ridiculous.I can't even tell her to stop hugging me touching me rubbing me.I can’t verbalize a succinct “NO” to this woman. I can't just punch her in the face.I am physically stronger than her,she is short and skinny,but i have never been in a fight my whole life.I am afraid of any kind of physical altercation.Sometimes I really want to yell at this woman to get her hands off my body but I can’t get angry. I just can’t. Not in the moment–I shut down like a security camera with a miswired motion detector, and it’s only later that I realize what I should have done. By then, it’s too late to confront her, and it’s turned into a pattern and what am I supposed to do then?What am I supposed to do? She is important to me as a classmate,so I'm willing to sit/stand out the awkward touching and hugging.She is being unnecessarily touchy-feely. She tends to stand really close – it’s like she doesn’t seem to respect my personal space. It is getting very uncomfortable.

[Satincat]

Seems this woman is really attracted to the shiny satin outfits you are wearing and just can't help but touch you to feel the smooth material.
Why not invite her shopping with you next time you are buying a satin outfit and help her choose a outfit for herself including a pair of satin opera gloves.
This way she might start sliding her satin covered fingers over her own shiny outfit and if not at least when she touches or cuddles up to you it will be satin on satin you might even like it

[Marla1976]

Seems this woman is really attracted to the shiny satin outfits you are wearing and just can't help but touch you to feel the smooth material.
Why not invite her shopping with you next time you are buying a satin outfit and help her choose a outfit for herself including a pair of satin opera gloves.
This way she might start sliding her satin covered fingers over her own shiny outfit and if not at least when she touches or cuddles up to you it will be satin on satin you might even like it

This touchy feely woman doesn't like to wear satin clothes.She says that she just likes to caress satin fabric and that silk and satin is so smooth to the touch when rubbing. She says that she just can’t resist touching and stroking satin fabric. What do you think? Completely normal? Is it okay to let it continue?? This touchy feely woman wears flannel shirts, jeans and sneakers.She will hug all over me saying you are so tall,big and soft.She likes to stroke, and rub with both hands. It makes me a little uncomfortable, and wondering if this is normal. Any suggestions?Anyone got any advice why she might be doing this? Has anyone else experienced anything similar or have any ideas what this might mean or relate to...???

[Marla1976]

Seems this woman is really attracted to the shiny satin outfits you are wearing and just can't help but touch you to feel the smooth material.
Why not invite her shopping with you next time you are buying a satin outfit and help her choose a outfit for herself including a pair of satin opera gloves.
This way she might start sliding her satin covered fingers over her own shiny outfit and if not at least when she touches or cuddles up to you it will be satin on satin you might even like it

Today after class i I was very flustered as we were leaving on the parking lot i pulled this touchy feely woman aside and i said to her gently “I’m sorry, I have a thing with personal space.”I explained to her that it is making me uncomfortable that i understand she is friendly and tactile, and i see her as a friendly classmate but i feel a little uncomfortable when she touches me. She started breathing heavily and her eyes began to water quite heavy, then the tears started to flow. She broke down. I mean sobbing everywhere. I was in shock really. I wasn't expecting it. So basically, she was just crying standing in front of me, i tried to talk to her ..but she was just crying really badly,, i didn't know what to do, i was just thinking ... let her cry ...it feels better to let it out? I now started to feel my tears welling up — I'm such a softy that way. I now started to cry and reached out to hug her. She held tight. So here we were, hugging and crying in the middle of parking lot as people watched. She told me that she appreciated me calling her out and she said that she is touchy feely with friends only and that she is an extroverted, touchy-feely, huggy person. She said that because i am much taller than her, the hugs make her feel very secure and cared for. It was really awkward.I'm bad at comforting people. I pulled away from the hug. She just walked away defeated, and apparently was crying in her car. So I finally did what it took to drive her annoying ass away from me.

Problem is, after her crying and sobbing afterwards, I cant help but feel a little bit guilty.
So was I in the wrong? If so, how should I have handled the situation?

[Satincat]

I think you handled it in the only way possible by speaking to her

[TomThompson]

Sounds like the creative writing thing is really working out for you.

[SatinLush]

Creative writing indeed, so creative that I think this is the fantasy of a man wishing he was a woman dressed in satin and silk, I could be wrong but don't think I am...I have no other advice to give as this is just too unbelievable

[Freddielinton]

Sounds like the creative writing thing is really working out for you.

LOL right?

Yeah; we have a lot of storytellers here that I feel like wrote romantic fan fiction on some random blog in their former life.

I always have the same response to these, “......You expect us to believe that shit?”

[coatfun]

You should have whipped out your cock and said: "blow me"